Expertise : Life Lessons

5 ways to be a better friend - suggestions for creating your own enduring relationships

1. Stop Giving Advice: If you always tell your friend how to fix their problems, the relationship will be unbalanced. You become the One Who Knows All, and they become the One Who Is Troubled. Eventually you're both going to tire of those roles. Instead, let her bounce ideas off of you. Ask, "What are you planning to do about this tricky situation?" Or just give a supportive comment: "That sounds difficult. How do you feel about it?" Offer your opinion only if asked for it. Otherwise you're not having a dialogue; you're giving a lecture. Frank M Lachmann, Ph.D author of Transforming Narcissism, New York City psychologist

2. Show a different side of Yourself: One great way to that is to mix friends from different areas of your life-say throw a get-together with your buddies and your pals from work. You'll find yourself opening up more, and your friends will learn new things about you. Friendships benefit from a breath of fresh air. Sally Horchow, coauthor of The Art of Friendship: 70 Simple Rules For Making Meaningful Connections

3. Be Genuinely happy for your friend's Success: Friends want you to celebrate with them when good things happen. Sometimes that's harder than it sounds, especially if you're a little jealous of your pal's success. Swallow that emotion, because they don't just need a shoulder to cry on in a crisis. There also looking for someone to cheer there triumphs. Joy shared is joy doubled. Jennifer Litchman, one of the subjects of best selling book 'The Girls From Ames'

4. Make Small Gestures: You don't have to go to great lengths==throwing a surprise party or giving an expensive gift=to show your friends you love them. Case in point: When I had surgery in 2009, about 50 people posted short comments online wishing me well. I was touched. If you don't use social media, reach out in other ways. Leave your friend a compassionate voice message, or stop by there office with a latte if they had a tough day. It will mean the world. Jason Falls-social media consultant, Louisville, KY

5. Act like a nine-year-old: Grown-ups should work harder on seeing their friends. When you're in school, it's easy. You get to spend all day, every day, with them, except on Saturdays and Sundays. But once you're graduated, a company can't offer jobs to all your friends so that you can stay together. Adults have to make more of an effort to see each other, and sometimes they don't do that enough. Grace  Logan will be entering 4th grade this fall in New York City.

SMILE AT EACH OTHER, SMILE OFTEN, BUY SOMEONE A LEMONADE OR WATER! :)