In this era of TMI tweets and status updates, we often offer up the most trivial details while keeping the important stuff to ourselves. Here, five experts weigh in on what's really worth sharing.
1. You don't have all the answers: By and large, people don't like to live in the realm of "not knowing." It's terrifying. Which is why everybody wants to have all the answers. Atheists think science has the answers. Religious fundamentalists believe their particular theology does. But "not knowing" is a richer and more gratifying place to be. I have no idea what's going to happen to me, why the universe is the way it is, or what will happen to my life force once my body stops working. You probably don't, either. So just breathe and live in the great, beautiful mystery. And floss reg.
Rainn Wilson, Dwight on 'The Office', also co-founder of the website SoulPancake.com
2. You spent a small fortune on yourself: Even in this day and age, many people still don't level with their spouses about how much they paid for some coveted service or item, like a salon treatment or a fancy grill. Indeed, it can be difficult to own up to, say, a $70 haircut at a chic salon when your husband shells out just $22 at the barber. But keeping money secrets in a relationship creates bigger conflicts down the road. Sure, in this economy, sharing such information may lead to a discussion about cutting back. But your partner will also get a better understanding of what you value most-and those conversations will ultimately bring the two of you closer.
Terri Orbuch, PH.D. is a marriage & family therapist
3. Everything: Be frank about your age, your sexual orientation, your criminal record(if you have one), your tattoos, your scars, and your prescriptions. Admit to your bad moods, your neuroses, your fantasies, and your fears and it will be so cathartic you won't need therapy. Better still, you'll be able to gossip without hypocrisy. I am candid about myself in my column, and that frees me to investigate the private lives of public figures. The same applies to everyday gossiping: No one can fault you for talking about other's indiscretions if you're the first to reveal those things about yourself.
Michael Musto, a gossip write, La Dolce Musto, in the Village Voice for 26 years
4. Your house is usually a disaster area: The next time you entertain, don't pretend that your place is always perfect. It's as annoying as a stick-thin model saying she eats lke a horse. If someone compliments your home, be honest and say, "I've spent the last two days cleaning up. You have no idea what was behind this side-board." It's impossible to keep it together at all times. Wouldn't you rather be friends with someone who owns up to her imperfections? I know I would.
Yifat Oren, an event planner in Los Angeles
5. You're tired of hearing about it: Life is too short to listen to people talk about the same problems over & over again. I have a friend who is often in victim mode. If she calls me to rant at the end of a long day, I'll say to her, "I love you, but I can listen for only three minutes and then I have to go." I'm not cruel. I'll say it in a lighthearted way. That helps soften the blow. Friends have to be honest with each other to have emotionally healthy relationships. Otherwise we would all be screening every call, and that's not how I want to live.
Judith Orloff, Psychiatrist & author of "Emotional Freedom: Liberate Yourself From Negative Emotions and Transform Your Life."
SMILE! TODAY, HELP OTHERS :)
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